Angela and Murray, Thankyou.

 The months that have passed have been long and hard for me in a multitude of different ways. Unfortunately mostly to a mental degree, although little did I know on the 26th of September last year, that I would happen to create the second longest story in my life to date. Although as I mentioned in Angela's birthday post which I will link below, it is only to have six chapters but that six chapters have, and won't come easily. Why is this you ask? Because although this story follows the realistic/fictional lives of my 2 best friends writing the proceeding story has not been easy on a multitude of levels. Mainly because as it stands, it now has outworked my other long-standing story, and my other long-standing story has 4 stories with 2-3 parts each story which I'm currently now writing story 5 of, but what makes this story stand out from that one is that it carries a lot more realistic emotional weight as most of the time I spend about 2-3 hours writing the bulk of this story over 2-3 days as I do it with 1 specific carer as I can only do it when they are on shift. And mostly throughout this time, I'm ecstatic with happiness, although there are times that tears tend to drip from my cheeks for one reason or another. An example of this you might ask? Well right now I couldn't tell you one off the top of my head or else I'd start crying but I do know that it has been a joy to write about these beautiful people and of course what they and their families have meant to me over the previous years. Although to most people this may not seem such a huge thing as I sit here dictating this to a fellow gamer who is currently acting as my typist, I would like to say thank you to Angela and Murray, not only in giving me the chance to compose thy beautiful story but also taking the time to listen to me over the previous months regardless of whether you've had times yourselves, at the end of the day the happiness it gives me I can't even begin to say as I find myself speechless yet again. Not because of what they do or what they did, it's because of how they did it as I know in my heart they did it with love and because they don't like to see me struggle, I'd be under the impression that this story may bring the light I have found over the previous months. On some mornings I have found it difficult to get up out of bed and keep going, but at the end of the day, I can always count on thy beautiful story to help me find my way, even though I could use a lot of other things in my stories. I try to find things to write about those I hold dear and this story is no different as I hope to have it finished before the end of the year, but can't promise anything yet as the paths of the characters involved are yet to be met in ways I wish and possibly in ways I don't. Why do I say this, Just like life itself, story writing can have lots of twists and turns, and this story might I add has been no different in the respect of someone having to tap away at a keyboard, but the emotional weight I carry as I construct these words is one load of weight that I was not expecting to be so heavy. Although I find myself drawing from those emotions to create what will probably be my second biggest masterpiece, or at least that is the way I will always see it, Amongst these words are some of the treacherous ways I've had to overcome in thy previous months of not only my real life but my journey as an author has seen some growth in leaps and bounds that would have never been if thy didn't create her masterpiece. At what was the second darkest time in her life she sits here dictating as she holds back tears which have a lot of fears from the past 7 months as I sit here now, am I happy that what once was might have come to an end, although I will always wish to stick with them (the characters) and they're realistic counterparts until I get around this bend, no matter what it takes, I will finish this story before I put on the breaks and my wheels find themselves full of mud that surrounds lakes. I wait and watch for what makes its way to me although some days they eat not before me, but without me. As they wait around lakes usually for my arrival but lately I haven't seen thy birds because I've been writing a lot of words which I hope will one day be heard and read by those I hold dear, in which part of me fears that I will not finish thy masterpiece by the end of this year, but I hope thy characters have a very happy ending but it is what I know has to come before that. That will either make or break them but before it breaks them, it will break me, because I haven't had the easiest time over the previous 7 months. I find myself crying when I lie in bed at night thinking that I could have portrayed them better because right now I am being way too hard on myself, but when I have to stop composing these words, it will sadden me because usually the smile that this story has brought to my face can never be replaced in the same way the characters and their realistic counterparts seem to have an untold effect on the way I continue to get up every day, even though I feel right now I am in complete disarray. These characters and their realistic counterparts have been a hugely influential part of my life for the last 7 months (characters). 11 years, 5 months and 14 days ago this (realistic friendship) started to become a glow, little did I know to this day that these people would become better than anyone I ever knew at listening to what I say, even when I am in what seems like complete disarray. I will now wait for thy day where I get to share thy story with thy people I hold dear and I try to figure out why I clench in fear when my anxiety comes near, one would think that after 7 months Id be used to it, but instead, I tend to struggle with the fact that it hides under the doormat because when I leave these doors, I don't find myself take a breath of fresh air because I feel my anxiety is something that I no longer need to bear the weight of, but the weird thing is it is with me always, so I guess one thing is that it's to do with how we express these feelings of uncertainty, fear and anxiety and I hope those I hold dear will read these lines and know that anxiety is something I try not to fear, but that is sometimes very difficult to do as I find myself struggling to find time to hit keys on a keyboard. Various things can affect how one hits the keyboard but know this, I will not rest until I make it the best. 

With best regards and intentions, your honourary fourth daughter, Stephanie.